Squad

Name: Steven Ross  AKA: Pidge (short for Pigeon)

Position: Goalkeeper

Don't let this big doo fool you, he is a top class stopper. His only weakness is bread, especially outsiders! Woot, woot, woot!

Name:  Archie Bryce   AKA : Agavaderchie/Alan Shearer

Position:  Defence (Team Captain)

Mr. Reliable. Can't remember him having a bad game. Got an eye for goal also. Pity about his dance moves. Shocking. Shearer,Shearer,Shearer!!!

Name:  Mark Longmuir  AKA : The Beagle

Position: Defence (Club Captain)

Shaws answer to "Roadrunner." Could be the baldy napper making him more aerodynamic. Got serious two bob crisp fetish. Disturbing.

 Name: Stephen McShane  AKA: Stengo

Position: Defence

Genuine Mr. Nice Guy. If you've never seen a yetti before then you have now. Fastest pint drinker I have ever come across.

Name:  Mark Dyer   AKA: The Gaffer/Dyson

Position:  Midfield

Mr. Shawbridge. Quiet guy on the pitch. Shows very occassional glimpses of ability. Could do with getting his fat arse in gear sometimes. "Vewy Pwoud!" to be gaffer.

Name:  David Cole   AKA: Gwakamoley

Position:  Midfield

When in the mood this whippet can cause mayhem down the flanks.Seen more fat running down the side of a chip.

Name:  Derek Scally  AKA:  Del-boy

Position:  Midfield

The Shaws "Jack-Russell." This little ankle biter doesn't give the man he's marking room to fart! Lives for 50/50's. Can be heard snarling throughout games. Got real skill.